Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Trust Me.

I've always struggled with the concept of discernment. How do you truly 100% know God's speaking to you and its not your mind...OR your heart for that matter. I've seen hearing from God abused by people who are not trying to be munipulative, but genuinely believe what they are hearing is from God. And how do we as a body discern who is hearing from God and who isn't? My dad always told me take things and put them on a shelf...and if they ring true, great, and if not, fine...there's no harm done.

In other words pray and test things you're hearing from God or others are hearing from God.

I'd like to think God will not lead you astray and I've very often in the past really felt led to do something and felt it was confirmed afterwards as right. But what about when you and a friend are on two opposite ends of a situation and therefore see it completely differently? Whose right? Are we making assumptions we feel good about and therefore attributing that to God...and yet because we don't have the entire picture we can't see that they may be mislead? Is it impossible to admit mistakes even when we felt at peace about what we'd felt we were hearing?

I guess I'm frustrated because sometimes I feel untrusted. I feel like it is important to hear someone out and not assume you know what their intentions are before you make a judgement. What harm is there in knowing the intentions and then praying about them to make sure they ring true? Is it possible that if you don't do this, you're being unfair? I sometimes want to say "Don't you trust me?" Trust that if I say something is important enough to bring up, that I've put a great deal of prayer into it and tried to make sure there was no self motivation in it? Isn't is possible that I'd only risk something as important as ones trust and respect for me if I knew it was crucial...and had agonized over it?

I feel like, intent of heart and the desire to seek God is the point I'm trying to make. If I prove to be selfish again and again and miss the mark...clearly I have room to grow and should be questioned. But also I very much value my friends, fellow Christians, and other people's respect...that they would at least trust me enough to know my heart was in the right place. If they respected me that much, they'd be willing to listen / hear me out / hear what I feel like God's telling me. Then from there they could test it, pray about it, and choose to question it and disagree...or to confirm it. Either way they'd know my heart was all good intentions.

I'm sorry if this came out as a bit of a vent...I'm just really trying to stay in God's will. And I hope others can see that.

But regardless of if people can see it or not...I will always look to God for discernment and direction. I hope people will be able to see where my heart is. In Him.


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