Crop Circles in the Carpet

It's hard when you see yourself in someone you don't like. But at least I can see it.

Maybe Relationships

Sometimes I get a little sad at the direction our culture is going.

I'm not saying it's all bad. There's a higher respect for people who are different from you, and more people getting education, and technologies I have come to love. I mean sound tech, movies, music, information at the click of a button, the ability to call for help if you're stuck on the side of the road...

But what about our relationships?

...facebook for instance. I've been able to keep in touch with dozens of friends I would have lost all contact with otherwise. And that's the benefit/good thing about facebook. But on the other hand, the quality of those relationships is seriously lacking. And the habits and attitudes our culture is developing are kind of depressing.

Last night, Justin Jones read an article about "maybe" society. Where your word no longer means much. Where you can click "maybe" on a facebook invite and really mean no. Where you can not make plans ahead of time, or cancel at the last minute if you don't really feel like going. Where you can wait til something better comes along. And it's even your close friends. Can you really count on me to be there when I say? There was a point when I'd say YES! Of course! But I admit that there are nights I bail on something I had planned to do just because I'm tired and would rather sit on my couch. And I know my friends don't love me any less or mean anything personal by being busy or not knowing their schedule more than a week out. But it's a little disheartening isn't it?? What happened to community celebrations? Knowing your neighbors? Knowing your friends won't cancel on you? Having a few very close friends instead of hundreds of acquaintances? Really wanting to get to know people on a deeper level?

Again, I know there are benefits mixed in there. The ability to reinvent yourself, or move on from a past you want to forget. And I have good, close friends, I know I could call when I most need them...

And speaking of relationships, I've noticed less and less people really believing in marriage. And I completely understand why. In a culture that actively promotes selfishness, how could two selfish people ever make marriage work and why even bother these days when it's unnecessary? I get it but I think that's incredibly sad. Marriage is suppose to be a wonderful partnership. It's beautiful in it's own messy way. I still believe in marriage...but am I becoming part of a minority?

I think if you asked someone off the street what was most important to them, most would reference some kind of relationship. And people are still getting married (though I'm pretty sure they're more concerned with the wedding than the marriage). But I just see things that slowly changing relationships and I just wonder...do people even notice? Do they care enough to want to change it? Can we redeem it? Do we have to give up things to do so?

Am I the only person that is bothered by this??????

--Noelle

The Consumer Question

I'm convinced that it is far better to appreciate what you have, live within your means, help others with your excess, simplify your life by trying to buy only what you need and be globally aware of poverty that you're not even close to experiencing...

...but I also really like shoes...and shopping...and movies...and eating out...and all the consumerism/entertainment that is almost inherent in my culture. Can the two be balanced or do they so completely contradict one another that you must choose between them...

Selfish Ambitions

What is the difference between a godly and a selfish ambition?

That was the topic of a blog I read today.

Do you live for yourself and give God credit as an afterthought?

Or are you willing to serve even if that means sacrificing everything you think you want.

I don't believe God wants anyone to be miserable. And I know God can instill in people a vision for something great, or even their dreams and ambitions.

But in our culture, I think we get carried away and take it too far--creating a vending machine God. "This is what I want for my life and God loves me so he'll give it to me." It's a common attitude. What ever happened to "Here am I Lord, what will you have me do?"

I think of most major music artists. Ya know, the radio rappers and pop stars that get up at the Grammys and thank God for their awards. I don't claim to know their hearts, but I always cringe when they bring God into it. Most of them are clearly living the most ungodly life possible. They live their lives out for themselves and at the end of the day (or at least in public) they are nice enough to give God a shout out. Awesome.

I have friends who've played sports and gotten injured and been angry at God for taking away their dream. I have friends who really just want fame but disguise it as ministry. I'm not saying that God doesn't fulfill dreams. But what if that's your plan for your life and God has something totally different in mind? Will you be angry when you don't get what you want and turn your back on him? If God said to you...I need you to sell everything you have and serve among the poor...would you be able to do it? Usually I get "God would never ask me to do that." Oh yeah? Have you read the Bible lately?

If God has given you gifts to use for him, use them. But don't use dreams and positivity as an excuse to live for yourself and call it living for God. Be willing to serve no matter what. If that is truly the desire of your heart you will find joy and fulfillment in serving God no matter how lofty or lowly your social status is.

I've always struggled with this. I know there's a great debate between the prosperity gospel camp and the purpose driven life camp. I've been absorbed in both kinds of churches and Christians at various times. But find some balance. There is truth in both. You can be a selfish martyr just as much as a selfish ambitionist. But don't let your martyrdom or your ambition blind you from God's true plan for your life. We're selfish by nature. No matter what perspective you come from...we're selfish. And few people ever really get around to acknowledging that.

Be a willing servant.

Limerence.

I knew he was the one when I realized I didn't have an exit strategy.

The Re Beginning of Being

"And we are left to be and keep on being, Like everything around a central meaning."

It has been nine months since I posted. Revival coming soon?

From trucks and planes to video games...

When I'm lyin' in my bed at night
I don't wanna grow up
Nothing ever seems to turn out right
I don't wanna grow up
How do you move in a world of fog that's
Always changing things

     The Ramones

Technology and modernity have created a culture that is so complex and so self-absorbed that it makes it incredibly hard to find true simple happiness. I know where to find it, but I wish it wasn't a constant battle against outside factors and circumstances. It's scary and brave to face it. It'll take all my courage.

---Noelle